~DiG DeepeR BeneatH and YoU Shall FinD~

ALIVE!!!

2008-04-25T17:57:00.003+08:00

Sorry for the lack of updates. was acting pro by fiddling with my blog. thought of beautifying it, making it look more prettier and all but it was a horrible failure. even the chatbox and music thingy is now missing.

Anyways, a lil update about me, well nothing much has happen lately just the same old routine. but wait, i did discover something about myself that i thought i was really hopeless and useless in. i always thought i was a sport retard but this few weeks i fell more like an athlete. i was on court more often lately and discovered some unknown truths about myself and im pretty proud of it. not bad for a person like me!! lolx..

so long, till then
*toodles*

P.s. Gossip Girl's back with 2 new episodes. cant wait to watch it!! whoo-hoo.. very much excited!!

Worthwhile?!!...

2008-04-15T00:05:00.004+08:00

The eyes that see my sin, would look me on with love and watch me rise again.
The voice that calmed the sea,would call out through the rain and calm the storm in me.
I am a flower quickly fading, here today and gone tomorrow, a wave tossed in the ocean, a vapor in the wind.
You hear me when I'm calling, You catch me when I'm falling and
You've told me who I am,
I am Yours.

Not because of who I am, but because what You've done.
Not because of what I've done, but because of who You are.

~* You light the way of my ever wondering heart*~

Letting go and letting God!!!..

2008-04-06T22:10:00.005+08:00

Does it all have to just fade away in just a blink of an eye? Is life really that cruel that we have to suffer in torture chamber?

I look at my dear babe, and it really strike me that she is struggling through tough times. Staying alone and cry wouldn't make a turn around.
" But babe, you may loose focus and you don't feel so alive but it is time to say goodbye, these days are gone!! You can't keep holding on to this agony. We all need some relief through these hard times. "

I understand your situation but it hurts when you're suffering. Laughter is the best medicine! Therefore, you gotta move on yea? He definitely don't wanna see you in pain and he'll for sure be with you in someway or rather. Not physically, but his heart is always for you and none other!!!

-Let God sit in in this yea babe-

*closes her eyes and waltz away*

~Entering Into A New Realm~

2008-04-03T14:14:00.006+08:00

Its high time for me to quit slacking and start anew!!! As much as i detest studying, i have no choice but to conform into this stage of life which is non-escapable! I look at myself and say " I'm really not cut out to score spectacular grades, high distinction, be a bookworm and what not!" but yet there are so many people around me expects much out of me. Thus, i'm mold in such a way that i adapt and conform into it without complaining or saying a word! And when i'm in their world, i just conveniently adapt to it with no complains at all and not to say that i dislike what they have put me in, i just happily absorb what they tell me to out of obedience and i don't happen to hate them because they've brought me into their land.

*Its like you know that you dislike where they're bringing you to but yet with an open heart and mind and willingness you've been dragged or pulled into that portal where you'll end up into their realm and not yours! and you happen to adapt to it with fullness!!* weird but its real!!

But it'll come to a stage where i'll make my stand and not allow them to drag me or pull me into their land of utopia or whatever, anymore!! I'll have to make my own decision and by that point of time, i know that i've grown much in mind and that i know what's best for me!!! No way I'm gonna do desk jobs, sit down with crossed legs in a cubicle with 3 big hindrance (dividers) surrounding you and start working from 9 to 5!!! It's really not my cuppa tea, or not even my gulp of water to keep me alive and standing!!!
So puhleeeeeeezzzzz, please don't put me in a place where i'll have to look at that dumb box screen (monitor) and exercising my hands and fingers by typing onto some plate which are full of Alphabethical buttons (keyboard). its like living from 9 to 5 behind bars..

There'll come a day or time, that i'll break free from my nutshell and prove to you what i can do that'll make a difference and even live a legacy that you and everyone else would be proud of!!

*^ Wait, watch, learn and see ^*

Inspirational but sad at the same time!!..

2008-04-02T01:15:00.004+08:00

Entitled Happily Never After by Nicole Scherzinger really makes me stop, sit down, think and wonder about the things in life that i've gone through. After thinking about it, it sometimes enlightens me but at times it brings back unwanted memories!! This song feels very much real to life..

"I don't think I want this anymore," A
s she drops the ring to the floor.
She says to herself, "You've left before,"
"This time you will stay gone, that's for sure."
And he shattered something else
To drag her suitcase down the path,
To the driveway.
She had never gone that far.
Normally this would be
the time that she
would let him talk her out of leaving,
But this time, without crying,
as she got into her car, she said,
"No 'Happily Never After'
That just ain't for me.
Because finally,
I know
I deserve better, after all
I'll never let another teardrop fall.
" As she drove away she starts to smile,
Realized she hadn't for a while.
No destination, she drove for miles
Wondering why she stayed in such denial.
She was laughing about the way he shattered something else
To drag her suitcase down the path,
to the driveway,
she had never gone that far
Normally this would be, the time that she would let him talk her out of leaving,
but this time, without crying,
as she got into her car, she said,
"No 'Happily Never After'
That just ain't for me
Because finally,
I know
I deserve better, after all
I'll never let another teardrop fall.
" I'm done, I'm done, said I'm so done,
I'm free, I'm free, so free
Free to feel the way I feel, yeah.
She inhales a breath she'd never breathed before
Don't want no drama no more.
'Cause she says....
("I'm done, "I'm done" "I'm done", "I'm done, so done, so done") Said I'm done, I'm done, I'm done

xoxo,
~*Tina*~

Don't be afraid to apologize!!!

2008-03-31T23:39:00.002+08:00

In conjunction with ~SaD~,

At times, silly or naive actions that you dont even know may lead to unwanted happenings. without knowing, words can just hurt or pierce someone deeply and wonder if there's any chance of forgiveness. or maybe even a 2nd chance to regain back that jovial-ness we have for one another.
Things said may not be what you wanna hear but sometimes its been implied in a wrong way. misunderstanding is the word!
It may not give pleasure to your ears but it is actually not meant for you but for the other person.
Perhaps, the actions were too bluntly exposed that it hurt you deeply, it was actually my frustration and worry that i blurt it out! worried, concerned and afraid that my performance would not be good enough. thus, it led to wanting a person with a smarter brain than me was an urge for YOU!!.
My main concern was YOU!!! and no one else. Sorry for the misunderstanding!! no bad intentions or remarks on you what-so-ever. everything was for the betterment.

SORRY BABE!!!

UnTiTLeD...

2008-03-31T17:48:00.003+08:00

Blogging revival!.. sorry for not updating. was pretty much busy with stuff and still am. juz thought of taking a breather by updating.

well my previous blog i mentioned that there some stuff im gonna do during the short break. and yeah i managed to fulfill some. i attended the colbie caillat concert. went shopping and spent lotz of $$$. other than that, my holz was pretty much mundane!.. (feeling kinda wasted)

anyhow, the new sem has started and its gonna be a tough one for me. much of effort has to be put into my studies, revising more. at the end of the day i juz want the outcome to satisfy me.

i've been thinking alot lately on wanting to start my business but im still waiting for God's perfect timing. there's season and time for everything right?

im feeling it:-

complete my Diploma as quick as possible.
leave Malaysia to further my studies.
establish my business here in Malaysia.
get it over to the international market.
own my own car
own my own house and live alone
done independently
must be done before im 25

the rest would be history. not to forget, ensure to travel around the world!!!

3-in-1 Birthday Party!!!

2008-03-13T13:44:00.011+08:00

i forgot bout the birthday party thingy till Lucas reminded me!! oops...

well it was Tracy, Deb and Jess' Birthday (well not all on the same day. juz couple days before or after)
we had a great time celebrating it. well its not that extravagant, but its the company and people around us that make it all so enjoyable and memorable!!!

it was indeed an awesome, fantastic, all so wonderful and worth to be remembered!

Picture taking session;P

more pics to come!!!
enjoy;D
xoxo

2008-03-13T13:21:00.004+08:00

hmmm i back to blogging!.. exams has been real stressful lately even it was only 3 subjects and im making such a big fuss!. exams can be a real pain. i have one more subject to go tomorrow and that subject is quite laid back but i gotta to give a very loud and good impression on the paper to get an A. Mr.Warren can be quite unpredictable at times.

well exams are not over yet but im all up for planning to hang out and distress!! this whole exam democracy is really killing. thats a good thing is all gonna be over in no time.

Things that im gonna do right after my exam (tomorrow)!!!

Shopping
Spend my time in The Curve
Watch Colbie Caillat live at Laundry
Hang out after that, some night time party!!
Get a couple of drinks and just dive into the night

All these will be done with all my best babes and pals!!

ciao the poop!!!
carezss..

STAY FOCUS!!!!

2008-03-04T19:16:00.003+08:00

Exams are juz next week and im still procrastinating!!
i've gotta put that bad habit to an end.
no more procrastination and being nerdy is the word!!
STUDY, STUDY, STUDY and MORE STUDY!!

till then...

....One of my contribution to press on....

2008-02-28T20:49:00.003+08:00

Dearest Ashley,

I gave you a card that signed BBF (Best Babes Forever)
You've got a million ways to make me laugh
You don't get angry when i change the plans
Somehow or rather you're never out of second chances
I'm so lucky that i've found you
You're a true friend
You're not plastic but very genuine
We'll go to the ends of the earth, till we'll find the things that we need
We hang on through the ups and downs
When something ain't right, we talk to each other and into the night
There's nothing to hide or pretend
Cause i've got someone to believe in, which is you!!
It's so good to have you around
You're here till the end!!!

~* Lotz of Love*~

What Hurts The Most!..

2008-02-25T01:01:00.004+08:00

Do we always have to be the bad person, even if we're doing it for the best of both parties?!

well i dint mean to hurt you what so ever. im sorry if i have broke your heart but i told you from the very beginning. if i wouldnt have done so, im afraid you'll be even more heartbroken and that would be much worst!!

why does it have to be this way?! we were once best of pals and now its like you anti-me.
you were the one and only one of that gender that i can really talk to and pour my heart out to.
dont you see that? dont you even care? dont you even feel that our decade of friendship has juz been wasted juz because of THAT?

the way that you're acting is so immature and that isn't you. you're always telling me bout how immature other people are and now you're acting like one. its juz so not who i thought you were. you were always the person that i admired for the attitude and personality you have.
i thought you were the type that would stand tall and strong and would actually reason things out. but you backed out and ran away from reality!! cant you juz face it and live THAT aside and juz carry on like how it was? like having a mutual understanding.

the days that we spent were all so casual but meaningful at the same time. cant those hours juz cover up THAT little black spot? is it that difficult? if yes, could you juz come up right to my face and tell me off so that i wouldnt even think that there's possibilities of mending back that Friendship!!!

"What hurts the most, was being so close. And having so much to say, and watching you just walk away."

Wish you had someone trustable!..

2008-02-20T10:51:00.003+08:00

I can't get it back, but
I don't want it back, I
Realized that,
She don't know how to act
Never been a dumb dude
No I'm not dense
I Just had a slight lack
Of common sense
I was the good guy
She was the bad girl
I'm thinking one girl
She thinking me, earl James and jimmy
Yep she had plenty
But love for me,
she didn't have any
I was inviting, her into my heart
But she was out riding in some other man's car
She was my night time, thought I was her star
Guess I was wrong, but see I'm strong
Wont take long for me to move on

[Hook:]
Please don't worry bout me I'm fine
(Please don't worry bout me I'm fine)
Only gonna play the fool one time
(Only gonna play the fool one time)
Trust me when I say
That I'll be OK
Go on girl
(Go on girl)
Go on girl
(Go on girl)
Go on girl

I can't get it back, but
I don't want it back,
I Realized that,
She don't know how to act
Tried to settle down and look what I get
Thought it was my time, but I guess not yet
She at the bar getting drinks from many men
I'm in the house, thinking shes with her girlfriends
Trust not knowing, truly not knowing
I look back now like, man, I was open

I was inviting, her into my heart
But she was out riding in some other man's car
She was my night time, thought I was her star
Guess I was wrong, but see I'm strong
Wont take long for me to move on

[Hook]

[Bridge]
The mistake I made is clear
(we never should've been together)
Thats the reason you're not here
(I know that I can do much better)
Not a single salty tear
Not a feeling in my chest
Baby I'm feeling no stress
I'm too fly to be depressed
Go on Girl
Go on Girl
Go on Girl
Go on Girl

*sniffles*

Where to for Valentine's Day?...

2008-02-18T21:46:00.021+08:00

well we went to The Gardens. we as in, me, Ashley, Tracy, Justin, Lucas and not to forget Boon Dat. we had lunch in a Taiwanese restaurant. food there was pretty good and the price was affordable. its actually not a Valentine's celebration but it was juz a casual lunch out like we always do.

had a great time that day. felt like we managed to catch up alot due to the CNY break. it was awfully great though. and there we have our cam-whoring sessions.=P

alrighty thats all for now,
tata
xoxo

Valentine flashback!..

2008-02-15T23:18:00.003+08:00

Valentine's always gives me a flashback on the year 2006. it was the most memorable valentine's day i've ever spent. Why is that so?

well me and Stephanie spent a night out to celebrate. well yeah, Stephanie is not a guy but a gal!. we wanted to juz have dinner and spend sometime together. we went to 1u. our usual place (Chili's) was packed with people. people were queue-ing up like there was no tomorrow. so we decided to try Jack's Place. but the same thing happened!. lines were long as a train. we ran out of ideas, so we waltz the whole way in 1u and every restaurant was a definite to have a queue.

so we landed at Wong Kok eating Hong Kong food. well it was alright. but the strange thing was all the tables were placed in a such a way that tables were sat only for 2 people. so we sat and ate. everyone were staring at us cuz we're like the only gal and gal together. wonder what came across their mind?haha!. well juz so both of our conscious are clear is good enough. haha!.. well it wasnt that extravagant but it was the company that makes it terrific and worth remembering!.. funny but weirdly funny.haha!..

ps. Jiji and Chocoberry, please dont let your date (Stephanie) down!..

>!alrighty!<

Chinese New Year Getaway...

2008-02-13T21:07:00.004+08:00

Spent the Chinese New Year holidays at Cyberview Lodge, Cyberjaya. it was my 2nd time there, therefore activities there are usually the same cause there's nothing much to do there.

Its basically a place to rest, relax and pamper yourself. so spa & massage, into the swimming pool and back to the spa again was a routine for the 3 days spent there. but it was fun though letting yourself being pampered every once in awhile.

i received quite a fair bit of red packets this year. well theres alot of money involved. Ka-chingggg!!! im really happy bout it.
but there wasnt much of cam-whoring so there aint any pictures to upload.

till then
toodle-loo
xoxo

Gossips never gets better with the GOSSIP GIRL!!

2008-02-02T02:15:00.000+08:00

It all started from one to another and more. Addiction comes by very easily but to overcome it its a real pain. At this point in time, my addiction to it has slowly brewed in me bit by bit. It has come to a level where i think about it if i dont get any, i cant sleep when i've got too much of it and cant eat cause im getting neither. i stayed awake the whole night just to have it and might have overdosed it. I really just cant get enough of that thing, I might actually land up somewhere to get some help.

You might be thinking drugs or fag, but its neither! I'm talking GOSSIP GIRL people!haha.. man its bad that im addicted to it, i watched straight 11 episodes last night an dint sleep till 6.30 in the morning. and now i just cant wait for the next 2 episodes, its like i can just watch it the whole day without having to eat. i might land up in a GOSSIP Girl rehab.haha!..

Anyways i know it sounds pretty lame.. but what the heck right? its my 1st time blogging so yeah that explains it..

THE CAST of Gossip Girl

"The popular and IT girl!"

"The HaWt dude"

"The whitty and bitchie!!"

"Charming!!!"

"Psychopath-womanizer!"

"Best Babes!!!"

yeap that was my addiction. so much so for Gossip Girl. will see ya next time!

all thanks to my dear friend Stephanie who is now in Melb!. thx for the DVDs.haha.
miss ya loadz!.. muaxxz!.. see ya soon..

XOXO,

~you know you love me.~

~*DiG DeepeR BeneatH and YoU Shall FinD*~